Sunlight To The Purple Wings
by TeamUnitedNerds
Summary: Me and my friend wrote what was supposed to be a parody of bubbline fanfiction but eventually it turned into pure madness. It also uses the word ebony a lot


"Yo, Bubblegum!" Marceline yelled from the Princess's window.

"What is it Marceline? Can't you see I'm getting ready for bed?" she said just before pulling off her pink dress shirt, and slipping on a black tee with an illegible logo on it. "It's already been 46 hours since I last slept, and if I want to rule my king-"

Marceline floated into the bedroom, and wrapped her arms around Bubblegum. "Shh, I can tell you in the morning. Let's just get you to bed."

"Which is what I was going to do already, Marceline."

The vampire shrugged, relinquishing her grip on the pink girl who fell unceremoniously on the bed. "Oops."

Bubblegum gave an exasperated sigh, and muttered under her breath how such a distasteful vampire could be so sexy; all while slipping under the covers. She was out like a light in five seconds. Marceline descended down onto the bed as well, and wrapped her stringy arms around the Princess.

~Meanwhile~

Back on Mars, Glob watched the going ons of the Candy Castle. "Those two obviously have feelings for each other. Ew, that is disgusting. The only way to rectify the situation, and save Ooo from those lesbians is to destroy them. I cannot do it myself."

Glob floated over to an ancient (by Ooovian standards) tablet, input what he needed for the task. "Yes, two of them will work more efficiently than just one."

So Glob made a circle, and put a bunch of crap in it, and lit a bunch of candles, and chanted things that made absolutely no sense at all. After that song and dance, a flame of fire roared up, and two birds ascended from the glowing flames.

"Assume human form!"

"Caw caw! Cannot do, for human kind is but a myth!" both birds said in unison.

"Assume a form that is like human."

The first bird, a black pigeon transfigured into a young looking man with feathers all over his body. The second bird, a black crow, transfigured into a young man. Where the eyes should have been, there were only swirls of bright, glowing blue.

"Now what do you want?" the first one asked.

"Yeah, I was taking a nap!" the second one added.

Glob showed them the stone which he used to spy on Princess Bubblegum, and Marceline. "These two must be killed, before their vile lifestyle infects Ooo, and destroys it!"

Both demons cocked their heads in unison, which was followed by the first one preening himself.

"Umm, I see. So, what's in it for Halphas and I if we do this?"

"Yeah, what Malphas said!" Halphas said before spitting out a feather onto the ground.

"Complete the task, and I won't allow Peppermint Butler to summon you for his debauched games again."

"We'll do it!" they said in unison, and both took their avian forms, and teleported down to Earth.

In the time in which it took the birds to teleport to Earth, Marceline had already managed to penetrate Princess Bubblegum's cold exterior, and was now proceeding to penetrate other things, as in, her sexual orifices, by morphing her woman-parts into a repulsive demonic tentacle-appendage. It was a trick she learned from watching her father's frequent orgies, which he recklessly held in front of his daughter, in which he would transform his entire body into a series of interlocking penises like a male angler fish on steroids and/or viagra.

"Sí Marceline, procceed joderme con tus tentáculos, ciencia ciencia ciencia" Princess Bubblegum shouted in German

The two demonic crows finally arrived, since their teleportation isn't instantaneous. They simultaneously gagged upon witnessing the two women's gloriously horrifying display of lesbian hermaphroditic tentacle sodomy.

"Glob has assigned us to eliminate your disgusting homosex from the face of Ooo" Halphas said

The fucking between Marceline and Princess Bubblegum ceased. "What, just Glob, science science science?" Princess Bubblegum said. "Doesn't he have like, 3 other heads or something?"

"You're a sentient piece of candy, who just moments ago was having gay sex with a shapeshifting corpse on a hill. Are you honestly questioning the rationality of any of this?" Malphas said while Halphas proceeded to do absolutely nothing.

Marceline's incest-born tentacle penis morphed itself back into an ordinary vagina. A vagina covered by furls of dark oily vine like tendrils which glistened with dew like cum, from the multiple orgasms she had given Princess Bubblegum, and herself. Marceline casually wiped her hand over her tightly net bush, and lapped up the cum, and oily residue.

Malphas threw up on the floor, Halphas proceeded to eat it.

"You guys should talk. Aren't you the two demons who are constantly engaging in buttsex with one another?" Marceline sneered.

"Wait, those things are demons?" Princess Bubblegum asked.

"No, we're mighty gods of the Norse, now bow before us, and suck our bird dicks!" Malphas cackled.

Marceline and Princess Bubblegum shook their heads in unison.

Halphas and Malphas glared at them. "Now it is time for you to die! For the glory of Globoria!"

Before they could question this, Marceline grabbed Princess Bubblegum, and flew out the window. The sun was shining brightly, nary a cloud in the sky, and if it weren't for the two demon birds hot on their tails, Marceline might have transformed one of her breasts into a phallic tentacle appendage, and slam it inside of Princess Bubblegum's slick, sweet, gaping love hole.

"Marceline, there is something very wrong with this situation here," Princess Bubblegum stated.

"Hmm?" Marceline replied.

"According to my research, most birds don't even have penises!"

Marceline rolled her eyes

"How about we prove to you that we have penises by waggling our bird cocks in the wind?"

The pale vampire with the raven hair stopped where she was, but continued to cling to Princess Bubblegum. "Ugh, nobody wants to see your dicks!"

"Marceline! Wait! Perhaps we might learn something by seeing their genitalia."

Marceline groaned as both Halphas and Malphas did some sort of ridiculous crow battle fuck fest dance in midair. The two women stopped to look at the display of fuckery going on in front of them. Soon, Halphas and Malphas looked like nothing, but feathers, down, blood, and dirt. They both stopped after five minutes, both content, and exhausted.

"I get the feeling we were supposed to do something," Halphas mused.

"Oh yeah, show Dracula, and Pinky Bitch our bird dicks," Malphas answered happily.

Marceline and PB quickly left; neither of them noticing the huge obelisk that had risen from the ground of the Ice Kingdom, like an ebony Washington Monument. Beneath it were two smaller, but equally ebony buildings with rounded tops. Malphas pointed to the ebony structure in the distance. "You see that!" he cried. "That is my mighty lust limb!"

"What about the other one?" Princess Bubblegum inquired. "Do you share the same penis?"

"No, of course not" Malphas snarled. "I'm only allowed to use it on Monday and Thursday"

Marceline wasted no time transforming herself into an enormous, hideous bat creature that dwarfed the demon's massive midnight meat train. Her enormous bat foot smashed against the demon's dome testicles, as the demon let out a wail of pain so piercing that blood began to leak from his brother's ears and anus. Halphas gripped his gory anus in agony. However, the genitalia of Princess Bubblegum and Marceline refused to bleed, because Princess Bubblegum had installed soundproof vaginas several hours ago.

Also, it was midnight on a Thursday, to the penis become Halphas's again and he began to shriek in synchronization.

"MY SPEAR OF ATTRITION!" Halphas wailed out loud as he slumped to the ground, and began sobbing.

"Oh grow up you big baby!" Marceline snapped at the ebony feather covered man bird.

Halphas continued to sob like a bitch who had been denied bagels and cream cheese, and Malphas consoled his brother by lovingly stroking his hair, and pelvis. "Shhh, stop crying you retarded baby. We'll kill that ebony haired, ivory skinned, crimson eyed vampire; and that…pink abomination!"

Marceline, and Princess Bubblegum had done the intelligent thing, and left the scene. Unbeknownst to the two hot lesbian girls, and the two bird demons, another person had been watching. Finn the human boy had been watching all of the events, and the sight of all the violence had given his sword such a pulsating erection that he knew no amount of penetrating Flame Princess's fiery cave of searing hot love could help him. It also hurt as if he had just jammed his man stick into Flame Princess's scalding love hole.

"Oh dang man, this is bad." Finn assumed as he unbuttoned his shorts, pulled his mighty throbbing man meat from the confines of his ivory cotton underwear, and slowly begin to tug, and pull, and stroke his silken love snake lovingly. It was fortunate that he never had an opportunity to perform intercourse on Flame Princess, for if he had, he would've injured her with the sheer mass of his meaty yogurt fountain.

A small snail with eyes like a Satan was crawling along the ground, fixating its gaze on Finn's furious masturbation. Finn was beating his man rod as if it had murdered both of his parents. So basically, Finn was Batman and his penis was Joe Chill. Finn was also snarling with pleasure like Christian Bale with a throat ache. Despite the fact that the steaming lesbian sex had long ceased, the image of Princess Bubblegum and Marceline's hermaphroditic tentacle sex still remained fresh in his mind.

"Oh Grod, so spice! so spice!" he shrieked like a little girl who was indeed half humasomething, and half cat. "SO SPICE! SOOOO SPICE! SOsososos SPIII~~~" he cried out, didn't finish, because his load of life creating white ninjas had escaped in such a great force that the force of his splooge hitting the ground had caused him to fly back thirty feet in the air, and land on his luscious rump.

The small snail looked at the great ocean of Finn splooge, then hurked and heaved, and the spirit of the Lich shot out of the snail, and into the splooge.

"I will wait here. The best way to destroy this cesspool known as life will be to create life. I will wait for a woman of child-bearing age to come to me, and I will find a way inside of her womb to impregnate her, and I will possess the fetus." the Lich whispered in a growly whisper of Belialic evilness.

-end chapter one-


End file.
